10 Comments
User's avatar
Elizabeth Schmelzenbach's avatar

This is gripping, Dawn, and so well written. Loved it.

Dawn Klinge's avatar

Thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed it.

Paddy Turner's avatar

Thoroughly enjoyed your story. I thought your use of AI was timely and original - sinister in the beginning, more human at the end. The pacing, in the way you build tension, made the story captivating.

Kim Eckhart's avatar

This is so vivid! And creepy, lol. Love this line: “Erin felt no fear now, only an ache. They were so close now. “You wanted to learn what makes us human,” she said. “It isn’t the mind. It’s the heart that breaks and still keeps beating.”

Dawn Klinge's avatar

Thank you! The original spark of the idea came from a dream I had.

Betsy Pendergrass's avatar

Dawn! I’m not even a sci-fi person and I love it!! Well done!!

Dawn Klinge's avatar

Thank you! I didn't think I was a science fiction person either. I wrote this for a school assignment originally. It's fun exploring new things.

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

So the machines run the numbers, crunch the data, simulate every outcome… and still get outplayed by a mom with a nervous system and a refusal to quit. Classic. Turns out the thing AI can’t optimize is the part that says “I don’t care what this costs me.” Great story. Also mildly reassuring that when the robots come, love is still the glitch in the system.

Dawn Klinge's avatar

Yes, you got it! Thank you. 🙂